Man: “Honey, can you hurry a little bit, we are going to be late for dinner with my parents….”
Woman: “I still have some replies to my Facebook. Don’t worry, we will be on time.”
Man: “We are running out of time, you are still not dressed up….”
Woman: “I said I will be fine very soon! Don’t rush me!”
Man: “We were late for an hour to meet our friends last time…”
Woman: “So you are telling me I am always late, huh?! You are going to lose face in front of your parents?! I know you are dissatisfied with me for playing too many Facebook and buying too many clothes! I still remembered that last time you said I am so mean to your friends, right?!”
The above is a real case from one of my couple friends.
He told me that he just wanted his wife to go out to meet his parents on time that night, and that was all. But his wife kept pulling on other unrelated things. He felt that she overthought him and was too sensitive!
I also know his wife. She mentioned a different story to me that her husband was reprimanding her about her punctuality history and intervened her interest on Facebook. He was too easy to come to a conclusion and ignored her feelings.
Why there are two extreme reactions to the same issue for men and women?
From the perspective of neuroscience, I am trying to explain why men and women have totally different reactions in the same situation in this article.
This is all “God’s fault”!
Since ancient times, both men and women have a perfect division of labor.
Men are responsible for hunting for food and defending their homes. Therefore, God gives men 20% more bones and muscles than women to make them work outdoors. Men are physically stronger and have a higher sense of spatial intelligence than women.
Men’s thinking is a so-called “straight line” style. They are:
- target oriented
- focused but not attentive
- more big picture
You are not difficult to notice a man or a group of men is looked as if they are “frozen” when they are watching an exciting football match. Women, let me tell you a secret: it is a good time for you to request something that your men once turn you down before when they are watching a football match. They may say yes to you as they focus on the football match but not attentive to what you ask them!
Women are responsible for the nurture of the next generation. Survival of children is the survival of the entire ethnic group. They must be good at observing children’s facial expressions and body changes to ensure their healthy growth. Given this heavy duty, women are born to have 20% more brain cells connection than men to help them to work for this purpose. Putting all things together, women are neuro-scientifically needed to be sensitive to the people around them.
Women are born with these talents:
- good in doing sophisticated work
- good in reading others’ facial and body languages
- a strong sense of intuition
- details oriented
Women can iron clothes while talking over the phone; they can do typewriting while gossiping with people nearby. It is because women have a thicker corpus callosum, a bridge in the middle of the brain that connects our left and right brain hemispheres.
Rehabilitation for women: why we are always “twisting and turning”?
Corpus callosum is designed to exchange information between the two (left and right) brains (see below picture).
The thicker the Corpus callosum, the more information flow and interact, and thus the more communication between the two brains. The left brain tends to think logically, the right brain tends to think emotionally.
Because of the responsibility of nurturing for the next generation, women are given a thicker body of corpus callosum than men. Women can make decisions quickly, however, they have to think more and they will easily change their minds. They are not intentionally or purposefully swinging their thoughts, but they are naturally and biologically pushed to react on that.
The brain structure of men and women is somewhat divergent. No one is better than the other. More importantly, the so-called Yin and Yang (feminality and masculinity) reconciliation mean that men and women can complement each other well. If we can notice and understand more about our natural differences, our relationships will be more harmonious, long-lasting and happy.
Master NLP Practitioner
Registered Positivity Practitioner
Registered Personal Development Coach