Do you find yourself concerned with the future: to-do lists and worries?
How about being stuck in the past: regrets and mistakes you wish you could change? If we spend most of our time on the future or past, we completely miss the present.
Someone we care about approaches us to talk about something important to them; could be their day or a challenge they’re going through. We had a busy tiring day and either listen half-heartedly without really paying the attention they deserve, or tell them we are tired and we’ll listen later but never get to it.
This could be an esteemed coworker, a dear friend, or even a member of our beloved family. We say our family is important to us, but how is that reflected in our daily lives?
How we talk to ourselves, how we speak to others, how we take care of our body and the beliefs we hold are part of our programming.
They are made up of past experiences, and pieces of information we’ve learned. They have been on repeat for a long time, to the point where they become automated responses, with little to no thought behind them. We spend roughly around 40% of our lives on autopilot.
Though from a biological standpoint we are saving energy by automating this process, the downside is we get caught in beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve any purpose for us and we are holding on to them out of sheer habit.
For example, a coworker approaches us for some feedback on a project. Generally, we tend to be very defensive about feedback, because we believe our work is an extension of us. If our automated response is to cross our arms, listen but not hear and refuse constructive criticism we lose the opportunity to improve our work.
On a more personal note, if our spouse is scolding us about forgetting to buy milk yet when our automated response is getting upset and spouting a list of all the hard work we do ends with both of you feeling resentful, unheard, and unappreciated then we lose the opportunity to connect with our spouse.
There comes a time in our life when we need to pay attention to what beliefs and behaviors are set on autopilot and revise if these automated responses are bringing us closer or further away from the life we want to lead.
An awakening – a process to turn ignorance to awareness
The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.
The first step to transforming our lives is to start paying attention to the beliefs we have that don’t serve us. Then, it’s time for decluttering our minds. We need to clear out what is not working in our lives, to make room for supporting beliefs and actions that lead us closer to who we want to be.
Small and big actions that support who we want to be will build confidence and support our authentic selves to come forward.
In short, awakening our consciousness to bring ourselves to the present is the biggest gift we can give ourselves and to those around us and this is the way we can turn our awakening from zero to hero.
Psychologist and Emotional Intelligence Coach